The King Cobra

ALRSNA01This comic is a prime example of why it took my friend and I three years to write our first novel. Back then we would meet every Wednesday night after work, and after stuffing our faces with burgers and a root beer at Bdubs, we would go back to my studio apartment, sit down to read each other’s work, edit the pieces together, and lay the tracks down for where we wanted our story to go. But always about a half an hour into it, something would happen. We would somehow mentally deteriorate into that of 2 unsupervised children hopped up on sugar. We would stop speaking in complete sentences. Sometimes we would only speak to each other in movie quotes, sometimes only in sound effects and other noises… I’m pretty sure my neighbors thought we were insane. One time we even acted out some kind of post-apocalyptic scenario where we took over an abandoned Wendy’s fast food restaurant, and fought other tribes of people with imaginary bows and arrows. Yes. We really did that. But I remember those days fondly, because I had an inexhaustible well of energy back then, and all my creative dreams seemed to be just on the horizon. Fast forward to age 36… well, I’m a little more tired now lol. You know how it is. Life always finds a way to tie cinder blocks to your feet and slow you down in the rat race. But hey, a part of me still feels like an unsupervised child at times, all cracked out on sugar and shooting imaginary arrows at things, and drawing comics is where I always find him. Afterall, “The creative adult is the child who survived” ;) 

One Pass On The Subway…

ALRSubwayOkay, so I’ve had a very toxic, codependent relationship with Subway for the past 18 years. Primarily because it’s one of the very few restaurants in walking distance from both my apartment, and my place of employment. Sure, they’ve provided me with empty calories to burn while I trudge through my daily grind. But in the past 18 years of my life, have I ever eaten anything from Subway and thought Damn that was good!? NO. Absolutely not. In fact, I HATE Subway. But do I continually eat there? You bet! And do you wanna know why? Because I’m stupid. You know the mouse in those scientific experiments that gets put in the maze and keeps trying to eat the piece of cheese but gets electric shocked every time he tries to pick it up, but keeps on doing it because he’s too stupid? That’s ME! Every time I go to Subway. But to end on a positive note I will say this: every employee I’ve ever met at Subway has been cool, and they are always nice. We’re all struggling in this world together, and I know working in the food service industry has gotta be tough. And hey, I’ve certainly ingested far worse things than a cold cut trio, even if they do put too much #*@%ing mayonnaise on my sandwich :P

The Map That Leads To…

0ALRA501“Following, following, following!” Yeah. I love that song. And speaking of following… are you following Mind Circus Comics yet?!? Do it!!! That way you can stay up to date on all my comics, artwork, and best of all…its FREEEEEEE!!! I know this comic was a bit sloppy and I apologize for that, but that’s what a cider beer with a double shot of Fireball will do to ya. Plus, I’ve had a busy week. I’d really like to re-do this one at some point and clean it up, but in the meantime stay tuned for more Artistic License Revoked coming soon! Follow me, follow me, follow me!

 

Frost Bite Me

ALRFR001ICED mocha! FROST bite me! You see what I did there? You see how clever I am?! *sigh* yeeeah. But hey, it would be pretty cool to have Elsa as a personal assistant in real life, am I right? I said, it would be pretty COOL to have Els- ah, forget it. I’m going to bed.

But stay tuned next week for more Artistic License Revoked! Thanks for reading!

Gross Words

ALRGRS01I heard a theory once that whoever invented the names for our human private parts must have been prudes, because the words they came up with make you never want to talk about them. I might have to agree with that.  I think also we can all pretty much unanimously agree that the word “moist” needs to be eradicated from the english language.  I did have a lot of fun composing a list of other disgusting words to use in this comic suggested to me by all my friends and co-workers, though.  Everybody had at least one to throw in the mix.  And in addition to all the ones I used, I also have a short list of 5 words that I personally despise.  I don’t really have a rational explanation as to why I hate them exactly, I just do. So here goes…

The first on my list is the word “titties.” Hate, hate, HATE that word. I know guys use it all the time, I don’t care, I can’t I can’t can’t I just can’t do it. It sounds completely redneck and I am from Kentucky! Nope. Just can’t do it.

Number two would have to be “lover.”  I mean, why? WHY?! Why would anyone EVER use that word to describe their partner?!? Please don’t.

Third, “creamy.”  Ehhhhhhhh, I don’t know, ok? I don’t know why. It just makes me cringe.

Fourth, “exquisite.” Ugh! If you use this word to describe something, especially food, you’re an A-hole.

And speaking of food, number five on my list is the word “beefaroni.”  Could there a be a less appetizing, less appealing word to describe something you eat?! I challenge you to find one. “kumquat” might come in second, but it’s still MILES behind beefaroni! Gag!

Feel free to comment below with your own list of words that make you cringe!

Anyway, I started “Artistic License Revoked” back in 2010, and despite all the zany, silly shit that goes on inside the panels, at it’s core, the comic has always been about 2 struggling writers trying to catch their first big break.  And for that reason, the strips like this one will always be my favorite because it reminds me of the days when my friend Mark and I were writing our first novel, struggling through crappy bill-paying jobs, and hoping to catch our first big break.  We’re still struggling five years later, still writing, still dreaming… but we’ve come a long way and not quite ready to give up just yet!  And in the meantime (while we’re waiting for Spielberg to call us for the movie rights to one of our stories!) at least I have plenty of material for a comic strip :)  Thanks for reading, and stay tuned for more Artistic License Revoked coming soon!

Trying To Get A Head In Life…

ALRHED01So yeah. Head Transplants. I want to talk about this. It sounds like sci-fi comic book stuff, right? Well, maybe not. In case you haven’t already heard about this, Dr. Sergio Canavero (an Italian neuroscientist) not only claims that he has figured out a way to successfully perform a total human head transplant operation, but he also says that he’s less than 2 years away from doing it. He even has a patient lined up for the procedure (a 30 year old Russian man with a rare, genetic muscle disease.) You can read about it all at http://www.cnn.com/2015/04/03/health/italian-neurosurgeon-says-human-head-transplant-will-happen-in-two-years/

Now, while the cartoonist part of my brain immediately saw the idea of a head transplant as a big joke, my heart finds the whole thing extremely ghoulish. Please don’t misunderstand, I feel for the man with the muscle disease. I know he is in despair, and I would never want to rob anyone of their last bit of hope. But after reading up on this story and hearing what all the other doctors are saying about it, it doesn’t sound hopeful. I fear that if this operation actually does happen, the patient will wake up to a living nightmare (if he wakes up at all.) However, the part of me that believes in miracles thinks that IF Canavero is able to pull this off somehow, imagine what this could mean… the possibility of repairing spinal nerve damage and helping people who have been paralyzed walk again. That would be something truly incredible.

Living in the Moment

Hey guys, it’s been awhile, but I’m back in business! And while it’s true that I am trying to live more in the moment, I’m also thinking about the future… and it includes drawing more comics! It’s my own self-help therapy! I’m going to try my best to get back into the swing of things, so look for a new episode of “Artistic License Revoked” every week, right here at Mind Circus Comics! Thanks for reading :)